71: Bernice's Logic

Explanation
The original strip is only the first and last panels. This edit seeks to get inside Bernice's thought processes by covering the logic of Luann's statements as if they were true, rather than the emotional hyperbole they are.

Essentially, all cases are covered, and all lead to death.

The author writes:
Think Bernice might be overthinking things a little? Faced with her friend's mortality, she requests her possessions at least be given a good home...

Original Luann strip: 1985-03-23.

Transcript
Luann: If Aaron Hill invites me to the dance, I'll die! If he doesn't ask me, I'll die. If he asks Tiffany, I'll die. If Gunther asks me, I'll die. If no one asks me, I'll die. Bernice: {thinking} So, logically, she can't survive past the point where no one can ask her. Bernice: {thinking} And if either Aaron or Gunther asks her, that'll cut her life even shorter. Bernice: {thinking} Not to mention Aaron can kill her by asking Tiffany, anyway. Her last point is kind of irrelevant, but whatever. Bernice: {thinking} Poor Luann. Her death is certain. Guess there's only one thing to do... Bernice: Can I have your skates and stereo?